Trading Places with Mom

Mother’s Day is Almost Here

It will be a day full of memories of Mom.  I still feel like I should be looking for a special gift, ordering a corsage (which she loved!), planning time together.  It seems strange that this process, practiced and perfected over many years, has simply disappeared.  Truthfully, because of Alzheimer’s, Mother’s Day vanished years ago, long before Mom passed away.

My Mother and My Friend

Mom and I laughed a lot, had long visits, cooked meals together, shopped together and sewed together.  She taught me how to treasure family and cherish time.  She took care of me when I was sick, dried my tears when I cried, taught me how to take care of my babies.  Mom watched out for me, warned me of dangers, protected me. She was a caregiver, giving sweet and tender care always.  She was my mother and my friend.

Trading Places

A few weeks after she passed away, I found a little Mother’s Day card, tucked safely away in a wooden box where I keep special things.  Mom had given this to me twenty years before.  I was a mother, after all, and we celebrated motherhood together…mother and daughter.   As I read it, tears came.  I realized that somewhere along the way,  Mom and I had traded places.

“A Mother is…Someone who cares when others care less…Someone who encourages when others ridicule…Someone who defends when others condemn…Someone with patience when others are impatient…Someone who appreciates when others fail to notice…Someone who gives security in a world of insecurity…Someone who is accepting when others reject.  A Mother is a friend for all time, to cherish and protect, as her achievements will linger for generations…” (“J-Mar” is printed on the back with no indication of who wrote the words.)

On the back of the card, Mom had written:  “Trace, I love you so much, Mom.  1996”

It occurred to me that these words described not just what a mother is to her child, but what a child is to her mother, a mother with Alzheimer’s.

I'll hold your hand
Mom and me

We did trade places, but she had taught me how to step into her shoes.

“She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.”  Proverbs 31:25

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Thank you for spending time here,