Remembering Januarys Past

It’s the middle of January, and I’m waiting for an x-ray.  I notice my reflection in the glass above me.  It’s strange to see myself in a hospital gown, on an x-ray table…waiting for the technician to tell me which way to turn next.  I think I look older now, or maybe I’m just tired.  Some days, my hands shake too much to put on mascara, and I have circles under my eyes.  Most days, I don’t think I look like I have cancer, but….looking at my reflection now, maybe I’m wrong about that.  I do see Mom in my eyes…I definitely favor her, and I like that.  Memories of Januarys past scroll across my mind.

January Snow

Januarys long ago

Some of my earliest January memories are of making snow angels after we got a rare winter snow.  Mom had warm lemonade and an asprin waiting when we came in the house, wet and chilled to the bone.

Mom’s birthday

Mom’s birthday was in January.  I fully intended to write a special blog post that day, but this January is so full…time just got away from me.  If she were still here, she would have turned 85 on January 5th.  All my life I loved spending time with her…most of which was filled with the sharing of recipes, cooking, shopping, visiting on the back porch, going places with the kids…all mixed with a generous dose of laughter.  I miss her.

Dad’s move to heaven

I miss Dad too.  On January 3rd, two years ago, Dad joined Mom in Heaven.  We imagined him arriving in Heaven just in time for Mom’s birthday, the two of them dancing together…both healed, their minds fully restored.  What a celebration that must have been!  Can you imagine?!

A match made in heaven

On January 30th, if Mom and Dad were still here, they would be celebrating 55 years of marriage.  I wonder if they celebrate anniversaries in Heaven.  If they do, what a grand time it will be!  It took them a while to find each other, but once they did…it was a match made in Heaven…as they say.

Together again

Their anniversary brings to mind another January past.  It was 5 years ago, just a couple of days before their 50th anniversary, that they moved to a memory care home.  They had been separated for several weeks, so this was a long-awaited reunion.  It took a few minutes for brain cells to warm up and allow recognition; then, many thankful tears were shed by all of us.

It’s January again

Looking now at my reflection in the glass above me, I think of how perfect God’s timing is.  This January has been full of testing, scans, biopsies, blood work, x-rays…and I’ll check into the hospital in a few days.  I’m so thankful Mom and Dad are in Heaven this January because, even though I am looking forward to remission, I know this would have been hard for them.  One day, I’ll tell them this January story…of how God healed me.  We’ll remember our Januarys past and give thanks because He is good.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.”            1 Chronicles 16:34

Grateful & blessed,


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10 Replies to “Remembering Januarys Past”

  1. Sweet Tracie – you have such a beautiful gift for writing. This is so bittersweet. You are in my constant prayers. I love you, precious sister.

  2. Your words are beautifully written I only wish they didn’t break my heart to pieces. I was thinking today about how I wish I were able to do more and how little I’ve done for you during this time. Lots of prayers but I feel helpless but I know that woman in the glass is one of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever seen.

    1. Lorrie, you are such a sweet friend! I know you would do anything for me…but your prayers are most important and mean the most to me!

  3. There is much to be said about your ability to find the good in adversity and reasons to praise our loving God from whom all blessings flow. Beautiful January memories Tracie!

    Keep looking and you will keep finding… Joy

  4. Beautiful words about your mom and dad. How special they must have been. Thinking of you and I know that your strong faith in God and your positiveness will help you for this coming procedure. My prayers for you always.

  5. Tracie – Such a sweet and beautifully written post. I’m sorry for being MIA these past few months but I think of you often and send prayers your way. I’ve had a health issue myself since November but certainly nothing compared to what you are going through. God’s blessings to you my sweet friend! 💕

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