The news stunned us. We didn’t plan for this; we had other things to do. Instead of having a party, we cried. When we thought we would be paging through the book, we were instead hearing results of tests and making new plans for the future.
Those who have been on this journey with me know that, for years, my dream was to write a book about our journey through Alzheimer’s. All along, I believed God had laid it on my heart. As a first-time author, it was hard! I didn’t know how to do it, but I marched forward as if I did. One foot in front of the other. Page after page. I immersed myself in my memories, notes and old emails, re-living the story in my mind and writing it down for others. I struggled through parts of it but felt all along that it was something God called me to do. It was my assignment.
After a year of writing and re-writing, there finally was a manuscript! It wasn’t yet a book, but it was so close! Proofreading was non-stop, pages were being numbered, chapters were being named…it was real! We had an official release date of the book and began to anticipate that day…even thinking about the possibility of a launch party to thank our friends and family who had helped me.
About three days before “Launch Day”, my doctor admitted me into the hospital for pain in the sternum that just wouldn’t go away. I hoped to be pain-free and out of the hospital in time for the book launch. We even told the hospital staff about the book; we needed to hurry because we had things to do.
The diagnosis came, not a day or two before or the day after, but exactly on “Launch Day”. The book was finished. God didn’t need me on that day to orchestrate what He had put into motion years before. I had done what I was called to do, and Multiple Myeloma would not stop the launch of Dancing Around the Chaos. It did launch, and people were actually reading the story!
Lessons from the past
The Alzheimer’s Journey is full of roadblocks, detours and other sorts of ongoing construction…making the way unpredictable. Once we thought we had a good system down for something, things would change…most of our great ideas didn’t work for very long. We had to learn to take one day at a time and not look too far down the road, adjusting the plan as we went along.
This is one of those unexpected detours. We are having to make some adjustments. Things don’t look exactly the way I had imagined, but we’ll re-group and get back on the road. Just like many times with Mom and Dad, I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know we must continue putting one foot in front of the other. We learned how to do this on the Alzheimer’s Journey. It was hard, but we did it. I want to be strong and courageous. I will not tremble. I know God is with me wherever I go.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
People I will never meet have contacted me to thank me for writing the book. I do believe God wanted the story written down for others, and I’m thankful I got to be part of it.
I have seen the blog as an extension of Dancing Around the Chaos, a way to continue connecting with and encouraging others. It may be different now…posts will probably be sporadic rather than every week on Wednesday. I still want to do it because it’s something I love. I’ll do my best! I hope you’ll stick with me and share with others.
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Thank you for spending time here,